I've never liked the idea of being second best. I know we all have our competitive tendencies, others don't fancy it too much. I have always been my worst critic...everything I do in life: school, work, relationships, and so on and so forth. In reality, we can't always be number 1 but it would sure nice to be. My girlfriend "lectured" me about being second best and how it was not in my nature to be second in anything. She lifted my spirits by showing me how much she valued me. It's funny because we tend to forget as we always get caught up in the moment. Let's take a look at it from a dating aspect.
Ladies (and gentlemen), have you ever tried getting to know someone or perhaps dated someone, but always struggled to comprehend where you stand with that person? I am sure many of you single folks have heard it before..."oh i am just dating different people. haven't really found the right one that does it for me." Well, every time I hear that statement, i laugh. come on, let's be real. you are not the only one in that person's life. in fact, you could be one of two, one of three, one of five...you get the point. In my early 20's, I remember a gf of mine in college used to say, "hey, i don't worry to much about them other women. if he's talking to 5 girls, then if I am the one he truly wants, they'll all eventually disappear and he'll only want me" I always appreciated her thought process and I started applying her theory to my dating life. Years passed, people came and people went. Most of the time... or I should probably say ALL of the time, the men I dated were just absolutely wrong for me for SO MANY reasons. But the one thing that stuck with me was what my friend told me. I never worried about the other women my dude was 'potentially' dating. All this time, I was thinking it ALL wrong. Why would I be 'okay' with a man sharing his attention with 4 other women, while I am only getting 20%? Really, is that what I am worth? Hell to the No. I am about to be 30 in 5 months... and I have had it all wrong after all these years.
Second best is not an option. Have I settled with some aspects of my life? I certainly have. Can I change that? I certainly can. I recently got involved with someone that ...I could be certain that he has other women occupying his time. Knowing that this is a possibility, why have i managed to stay in this relationship? Hmm. Great question. If I had the answer, then I wouldn't be writing this blog. Bottom line, I have settled for being second best (or third best for all I know). Unacceptable. Especially to my, what I once considered, high standards.
Ladies (and dudes), don't get caught up on some nonsense. There are too many men and women in this world for you to be settling at second best. One day you will meet your King or Queen that will treat you like royalty...and that means always putting you first. I haven't lost faith. But, I am going to be smarter as I get closer to the big 3-0. Smarter...wiser...however you want to call it.
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